Giving Up On Graduation
So I decided not to argue. Maybe I just gave in. I’m so tired from worrying about his health, and watching him stress out over schoolwork, I just said ok.
Now my son is dropping out of high school. That’s what they call it. But I don’t look at it as quitting. My son is sick. He is just has to take a break.
I never thought it would be like this. Naturally when he was younger and healthy, I imagined all sorts of normal things for him. Some of which have happened, and others that haven’t. I’m sure it’s that way with all kids… but being held back an illness is different. You have no choice in it. It isn’t like quitting band because you don’t like it. It is not being able to do the things you really want to do. Like eat pizza or go out with your friends. Or sit through class and graduate.
It’s not the lack of a diploma that bothers me. He’ll pass the GED test (he’s hoping to do it before he would have graduated) I have no doubt. Then he can go on to some web design courses, which he can take at home if he needs to. But I hope he doesn’t need to.
I want him driving himself to classes, meeting people, and learning in a classroom. He’s such a great person… the world is really missing out. And right now, so is he. But I feel confident that in time, he will get better with or without surgery, and I’ll be able to relax a little. I’m sure getting SSI for his disability will take forever, but I am going to apply so he can have it while he needs it. And eventually, he will make his own way.
I have no doubt my son will be a success. He’ll just be taking a different road to get there.
January 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I can’t imagine how difficult this must be on all of you, but I applaud you for accepting that this is the best thing for your son, right now. So many parents are locked into the mindset of “must go to traditional high-school” “must be like every other child” “must conform”. I, with you, have no doubt your son is destined for great things. I pray that he will find healing, that he will find relief from pain, that he will find peace.
SDG,
Matty
ps… LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new theme/layout!!!
January 17, 2008 at 4:15 pm
THANKS MATTY! Your comment brought tears to my eyes… my husband disagrees with me and my in-laws are going to act like I am raising him as a wolf!
I appreciate knowing that I am not the only one who feels like the traditional way isn’t the only way to get somewhere. In fact, you miss a lot of great things if you take the beaten path all the time.
I like this theme too. Appreciate the compliment! Take care…
January 17, 2008 at 4:53 pm
You are so welcome! You reminded me of my favorite poem… a cliche, almost, because it is quoted so often, but TRUE none the less…
SDG,
Matty
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ROAD LESS TRAVELED
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth
Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
Robert Frost
February 4, 2008 at 11:15 pm
I stumbled across this while searching, avoiding studying, and waiting for my surgery on Friday (just three sleeps!). I, too, suffer from Crohn’s Disease. in fact, I’ve had an ileostomy for the last three months trying to give me some kind of long-term benefit. That’s the plan, anyway.
Alas, the best advice I can offer you and your son is just to stick with it. There are good times and there are bad. I’ve had Crohn’s for almost fifteen years (I’m now just on twenty) and have had some awful patches (I’ve been in hospital pretty much solid since September of last year; had a couple of breaks out, like now, but back in on Friday; before that I was in hospital for three months at the beginning of 2006) but also some amazing, disease-free periods (I went overseas to study/volunteer/party all through 2005 and managed to matriculate in 2004) and you’ve just got to take it as it comes, I’ve learnt.
Try not to make plans, and rather just hope that tomorrow will be better than today. Hope that one day they’ll find a miracle (other than surgery, which at best is an annoying and only temporary panacea) and in the mean-time, be strong and do what you can, when you can.
If your son wants to quit school, that’s all good. It would be great for him to finish today, but it’s hard. He’s got a long life ahead of him, and there’s plenty of time to finish studying one day. And the number of people getting somewhere in the world with just a work-hard attitude and a smile on their face is amazingly high.
Stick with it and you’ll get there.
Good luck,
Liam.