Giving Up On Graduation

So I decided not to argue. Maybe I just gave in. I’m so tired from worrying about his health, and watching him stress out over schoolwork, I just said ok.

Now my son is dropping out of high school. That’s what they call it. But I don’t look at it as quitting. My son is sick. He is just has to take a break.

I never thought it would be like this. Naturally when he was younger and healthy, I imagined all sorts of normal things for him. Some of which have happened, and others that haven’t. I’m sure it’s that way with all kids… but being held back an illness is different. You have no choice in it. It isn’t like quitting band because you don’t like it. It is not being able to do the things you really want to do. Like eat pizza or go out with your friends. Or sit through class and graduate.

It’s not the lack of a diploma that bothers me. He’ll pass the GED test (he’s hoping to do it before he would have graduated) I have no doubt. Then he can go on to some web design courses, which he can take at home if he needs to. But I hope he doesn’t need to.

I want him driving himself to classes, meeting people, and learning in a classroom. He’s such a great person… the world is really missing out. And right now, so is he. But I feel confident that in time, he will get better with or without surgery, and I’ll be able to relax a little. I’m sure getting SSI for his disability will take forever, but I am going to apply so he can have it while he needs it. And eventually, he will make his own way.

I have no doubt my son will be a success. He’ll just be taking a different road to get there. 

What Would You Do For Free Health Care?

I watched the Michael Moore movie “Sicko” last night. I should have watched it sooner.

Since 2005 when my son was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, I have spent every minute of every day worried about health care, and worse, health insurance. Now I feel like an idiot. What am I doing in this country? Being born here is only so much of an excuse.

Just knowing that the prisoners at Gitmo are getting free, state-of-the-art medical care is enough reason for me to leave this pitiful excuse for a health care system behind.

I just lost my job. I have six months of unemployment coming to me. My son is 16, and too sick to keep his grades up.  Why not withdraw him from high school? His plan is to get better (hopefully through surgery), get a GED and go on to college for web design.

But he has to get better. My husband and I have been working our asses off for two years to pay for insurance that may or not pay the doctors, who have taken their sweet time running tests and trying medications that have not worked. Medications that costs more than I will ever have. To think that in France, or even Cuba, my son would be treated like a human being with an illness. Not an insurance card.

My husband wants to stay here and work, and we are having problems anyway. So why not just go? Why not just drive from Alabama to Canada and start over? I can get a job. I have nothing to lose at this point, except money and time. And I’ve spent both on less important things.

Anyone got advice on this?

Thank You For Downsizing Me

Well, I don’t have a job anymore.

I think they did me a favor. I am slowly going crazy and they weren’t helping. As long as I am getting my unemployment I couldn’t care less. 

I am glad I won’t ever have to hear their voices again.

Like that annoying chic from Florida and the most unprofessional supervisor ever. I think she was 12!

Trouble is, I don’t want to look forward — it it so unknown. I’ve never felt this adrift. After the doctor visit gone wrong yesterday, Dylan told me this morning he wants to drop out of high school until his Crohn’s gets better, then get his GED and “get on with his life” as he put it. I kinda see his point. I don’t see how he can keep up with schoolwork when he sleeps 10-12 hours a day and never goes to classes. He is getting further behind every day. I am actually more worried about his health… he can’t concentrate on learning when he’s this sick.But I wanted so much more for him — friends, school, dates, the prom, maybe even a diploma. I am at a loss. On top of all that, I got a fortune cookie on Oct. 13 saying something would happen in  3 months, which is Jan. 13!!  and today’s only the 11th. So that’s hangin’ over me like a black cloud. Hopefully I was off by two days….