The Insight Of Experience

I think people come into your life for a reason. At the time, you usually don’t even think about why that might be. But when they are gone, especially if it hurts, you start asking yourself, what just happened? What did I do? How could I be so stupid? What is their problem? What is my problem? What was the point in that? 

Some things end up feeling like a huge mistake, or some weird universal joke you aren’t in on. And it is very easy to bask in your self-pity and/or heartbreak. But between crying jags, it’s important to ask yourself, is there something to learn from this? For instance, don’t lend friends money. I learned that the hard way. You’ll never see either one of them again.

I recently met someone who had more to teach me than I realized. It didn’t end well. I regret that, because it was my fault. But I think I came away from it with a much better understanding of myself. I learned how easily someone can hurt me, if I let them. I learned that I should keep my guard up in the future. I learned that I should SLOW DOWN. I discovered a side of myself I never knew. And I learned that sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

Of course, some memories have nothing to teach us. They just are: a once happy memory, maybe tinged with regret and thoughts of what could have been. Memories of loss. Nostalgia. Sentiment. Memories of suffering we will never understand. Wrongs we can never make right. Memories of people we will always miss.

But it is only human nature that we try to get answers. Without trying to gain some insight, it would all be for nothing. After all, our experiences are but tiny stars in the sky for us to gaze upon and wonder.

Of course, some of them twinkle more brightly.

~ by ocdiva on July 18, 2008.