She’s In The Cornfield Now

Many people may not have read my previous post “Not Even Impending Death Can End Bitter Feelings” but it might help to understand this one: Here’s a link:

http://ocdiva.wordpress.com/2007/11/26/not-even-impending-death-can-end-bitter-feelings/

I wonder, can you wish someone dead? Time finally ran out for my former friend, Ann, last week. She was 53.  I don’t have any details, and didn’t find out until yesterday.

But I have a creepy feeling because I used to sit and wish her gone, gone, gone. To the cornfield. Just go away, I would think, just die. And now, she is dead. Gone. Forever.

I guess I am supposed to feel sad, or guilty, or something. But I don’t. I still feel like if you are a manipulative and cold person and you get cancer, then you are just a manipulative and cold person with cancer. I’m sure there are occasions where the fear of death forces people to change, but I can’t see Ann being one of those people.

In fact, I would bet good money that she told the Grim Reaper how to do his job. And I don’t get the feeling she is in Heaven, being reunited with her mother and sister… nor do I get the impression that she is in Hell. Karma took care of her in this life. The fact that I took joy in it though probably means I have a big dose of Karma coming my way now. Whatever. I am human. I just hope she isn’t a ghost because she would be in a perfect position to barge in whenever she wants and haunt me. Like she did when she was here.

I really believe she went out like a light bulb. A bug on a car window. An old sick cow in the pasture. And now she is nowhere. Like we all will be, one day. For all our thoughts, hopes, dreams, experiences and sentiment, in a sense, we are all just an electrical charge waiting to burn out. And I actually find that much more comforting than eternal awareness.

My husband took some time and got in touch with Ann when she was sick. I guess it made him feel better. All I could think was, she used us and betrayed my friendship. How has cancer changed that? He is much more forgiving than I am. And probably has better Karma.

I am just left wondering how I can get my stuff back.

Late Justice For Megan Better Than None

Maybe Megan Meier’s parents will sleep a little better tonight. Maybe, finally, there will be a moment of peace amidst the storm that began with their 13 year-old daughter’s suicide. Death, and I would think the suicide of a child, would naturally alter the lives of the parents. But this case seems more tragic because it was so senseless.

This girl took her life due to the inconceivable acts of an adult, an adult who should have known better… an adult claiming to be looking for gossip, hiding in the vast shadow of the Internet. An adult posing as a an attractive 16 year-old boy named Josh. This boy, who didn’t exist, chatted with Megan nevertheless. He was sweet at first. She developed a crush on this boy. And when “Josh” turned ugly, it was more than the already troubled teenager could bear. It pushed her to kill herself.

Almost everyone with a television has heard about this case by now. Megan’s parents, after a year of keeping silent, waiting and letting investigators do their job, saw that clearly nothing would be done. I remember their media campaign to warn other MySpace users and clueless parents, if nothing else, to be careful.

Now that charges have been brought against Lori Drew, she will finally have to answer for her cruelty. She has already been all but ostracized in her community. And now she has been charged with one count of conspiracy, and a curious three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information to inflict emotional distress on the victim. If that means what I think it does, she went to a lot of trouble to play around with this young girl’s mind. There may be a lot more to the story than we know.

Time and a prosecution will bring out all the details, and I hope Lori Drew pays for her premeditated, irresponsible and deadly actions. Most of all though, like Megan’s parents, I hope it serves as a warning and a deterrent. Internet harassment is rampant, especially among teens, who use it as just another form of bullying. Maybe this will begin a dialogue on how this kind of harassment can be stopped.

There should never be another young girl who hangs herself in her closet. Especially because someone told her the world would be better off without her. While the world is not better without Megan Meier, in some way, maybe she can save someone else.

Rest in peace, Megan.

 

Nothing Like Cheating Death To Put Things In Perspective

My husband got very lucky this week. He was at work, under a tractor, when the guy in the cab pulled the wrong lever and the tractor jumped. The wheel rolled up over Stephen’s foot, onto his calf up to the the side of his knee and landed there, pinning him on a cushion of gravel. Had it been asphalt, his bones would have been shattered.

He said it was the longest five mintues of his life, his leg under all that weight, and his foot sticking out the other side of the tire. He lay there screaming at his partner, as they poor guy rushed to get a crane to lift it off of his leg.

He expected blood. He expected the searing pain of shattered bone, but as bad as it was, nothing was broken. After the paramedics left, in a combination of adrenaline and shock, he hobbled to his truck and drove home.

He said his biggest mistake was ignoring the gut feeling he had moments before the steel monster landed on him. He said he thought, “that thing is gonna get me” but he didn’t move in time. His first worry was missing work.

Now that it has been a couple of days, we both began to realize how lucky he was. Not just that he didn’t lose a leg. Or weeks of income. Had he been lying in some other position he could have easily lost his life, or an arm, and the ability to play guitar. I think that gratitude helps get him through the hellish days of sitting at home, hostage to horrible TV programming and restlessness.

In the meantime, I’ll be purchasing some life insurance on him. We were living without it, and I had never worried about it much. He always said his mom and dad would “take care” of me and Dylan if something happened to him. Well, I don’t trust that anymore. We would be screwed. His mom is a selfish you-know-what, and frankly, I don’t want to ask her for a dime.

Also, I found this very interesting and thought I’d share it: if I take out a life insurance policy on my husband, I would pay no taxes if I were to collect on that policy. But if he were he to purchase the policy and name me as a beneficiary, I would be responsible for taxes on that income. (Got that tip from The Suze Ormand Show.)

I guess now if I’m shopping for life insurance, I can’t make fun of the SelectQuote commercials anymore. I am one of those people they wanted to scare and it worked.