Is Marriage Sacred? Depends On The Couple…

Today’s refusal by The California Supreme Court to stay its decision legalizing same-sex marriage in the state is a small victory in the fight for gay rights, but also human rights. The same way women winning the right to vote demonstrated a small step in the evolution of human thinking. It’s a shame it takes us so damn long. 
 
So now the way is clear for gays and lesbians in California to get married starting June 17. While it gives many couples reason to celebrate, a lot of other people don’t like it  I guess because of cultural and social tradition, if discussing gay rights, the word “marriage” is used, everyone gets all uptight. God forbid anyone in this country promote love, family, unity and fidelity. It is so much more American (and apparently Christian) to divide people into little groups, judge them and deny them rights based on a majority opinion.
 
Well, I hate to tell you, but good old-fashioned marriage isn’t a majority anymore. From our friends at the CDC:

More people are part of second marriages today than first marriages. 

One-quarter of all Americans have experienced at least one divorce.   

In 1970, 68 percent of adults lived as married couples, but this percentage steadily declined to 56 percent. Additionally, every year since the late 1970s more than 1 million divorces have occurred, and cohabitation accounted for more than four million couples in 1997 (Washington Times, 6/6/99). Think about that for a minute.  

 

 

Now shut up about how “sacred” and “special” marriage is, already. Like I said in a former post: “Forget feeding the hungry or curing the sick… gay people want to get married and we must stop them!” As if marriage is so great we have to keep it exclusive. Like the front of the bus. –http://ocdiva.wordpress.com/2008/01/01/just-southern-not-dumb-or-bigoted/ 

And it’s only my opinion, but using the Bible to back up a reason to ban gay marriage is like using it to ban shellfish and makeup (both of which are supposed abominations to God as well!) So I don’t engage in any argument that includes a chapter and verse.
 
I have been married 22 years now. To a man. (It’s true!) But really, in the Big Picture, does that fact make a huge difference in our lives? Outside of sex, which is what everyone is really all in a fuss about, the answer is a big fat NO. I believe that two women or two men could live almost the same life we do. No, they can’t reproduce biological children… but how many children are already here in this world, without parents or anyone to really love them? For that reason alone, even I don’t feel the need to “make” another child. Were I to decide to become a parent again, I would adopt. Other than that one issue, I cannot see how our lives could not be similar.
 
We all laugh, sleep, eat, go to the store, brush our teeth, love our pets, and bleed red when we cut ourselves preparing dinner. We buy cars, pay taxes, take trips and watch movies. Does it really matter what turns any of us on? I bet Larry Craig wishes it didn’t.
 
Funny that some of the most bizarre sexual scandals in the past year came from the Republican side of our government. There are some bonified freaks in Congress. And the ones who just seem to get caught all belong to the party of Vice President Dick Cheney. His daughter Mary is homosexual, which is no secret. Just don’t ask him about it. I noticed that her precious little girl is featured in a TV ad with him and his wife Lynne Cheney – but without her mom, Mary. As if he cannot even acknowledge her by including her in his idea of what a “normal” family looks like. It might be too American, and not  Republican enough for someone like Dick to come out and support his daughter’s right to marry her partner. For some reason I don’t understand, she supports his right to deny her that. 
 
Maybe it is all in the language. When anyone talks about civil unions, no one even looks up anymore. But say the word “marriage” and all the Fundamentalist grab their Bibles and hit their knees in prayer. They do have a crazy attachment to the idea of the missionary position. Marriage + missionary position = children to work the farm. It’s a cultural thing. I can just hear it… It’s what Daddy did and his daddy before him… and even though he hated Grandma, they suffered 58 years of wedded bliss before he shot her. 
 
People hate change. People hate anyone different from them. Some people don’t understand why anyone would say “fabulous,” or have more than one piercing. And since they don’t get it, well, it just shouldn’t happen. No wonder the world is going to hell in a hand basket, what with these nutty kids and their funny-colored hair. No morals. A bunch of slackers covered with tattoos. All sleeping around.
 
It scares people when rocks are turned over and certain subjects see the light of day. Suddenly, uncomfortable things are up for discussion. The decent, human, enlightened thing to do would be to discuss them… to consider them… to ask oneself if it really matters, or if tradition has clouded the issue. Unfortunately, some people will die with their hands over their ears. Others, though, will learn that the only way to live is to let others do the same.

Clinton “Misspeaks”, The Rest Of Us Lie

If I was shot at, I would damn sure remember it.

If I told you I was shot at, I probably wouldn’t be smiling. I also probably wouldn’t be coy about it. I certainly wouldn’t be mistaken.

If I told you someone shot at me, and then you found out that was not true, what would you think? At best, you would think, oh, that Sonja, she was just trying to be funny. But then you realize there is nothing funny about being shot at. There is no punch line.

Most likely, you would conclude I was lying.

If I said I was mistaken, that would not wash as an explanation. Exaggerating? Not likely. Joking? Only if I said “… but it was just a car backfiring! ha ha ha!”

My credibility would be shot. You would silently wonder why I had bothered to lie in the first place, but it wouldn’t matter. From then on, you would always question what I told you. That is human nature.

Since I am not a politician, I would never to think to explain my story away by saying ”I misspoke.” What the hell does that mean, anyway? From my understanding of grammar and governmentspeak, it means “I lied. I told you something that NEVER happened. I didn’t think you would know the difference.”

You know, even though I may not have voted for Hilary Clinton, I am very disappointed in her. I hate to see the first woman candidate for president caught saying something so ridiculous, then following it up by insulting to America’s intelligence. I mean, she didn’t just say ”I caught a fish thaaaat long.”

Sniper fire isn’t a laughing matter… it killed my cousin in Iraq. If you had to duck and run from it, congratulations on surviving. But if you didn’t, it seems like you just want to make yourself look a little more patriotic, tougher, experienced in war, or whatever. In the end, you undermine every word that has ever come out of your mouth. All those years of public service and experience don’t mean so much. Deceit kills the trust of the voter.

We all know the difference between true and untrue… unless something in the Big Book of Rules has been amended, I don’t think there is a gray area.

The Difference Five Years Can Make

I am not prepared to analyze the downhill slide our country has gone through since President Bush lied to our country and declared war on Iraq. So I am going to approach this subject from a personal level.

All I know for certain is that five years ago today, my cousin, Pvt. Kelley Prewitt was new to the Army. And his first thought upon hearing that we were at war was probably “Oh, shit.”

Five years ago he had joined, like so many do, to get his life together. Five years ago, his parents had a son. His sisters had their brother. His comrades had his dedication. And sweet home Alabama had his heart. Five years ago, at age 24, Kelley had a future.

Less than one  month into the war, his life was blown apart by an Iraqi ambush. It had been 11 months since he enlisted. His funeral will always stand out in my mind as a symbol of motherly love, loss, overwhelming grief and waste.

The numbers of those who have joined him sickens me. Almost 4,000 of them.

May they rest in peace.